What Do I Do? I Fell In Love With The Class Pet And It Doesn't Love Me
by Darkgaarafuker
Summary: Inari thought kindergarten was supposed to be happy. He thought it was the start of a new life for him. All his optimism went out the window when he fell in love with Sasori, the class pet scorpion, who's in love with Mr. Hiruko, the class mole rat. This is a tale of love, sex, depression, drug abuse, and broken hearts.


_**I**_ twas a bright and sunny day. Inari, clad in blue bucket hat, was walking cheerfully to school. It was his first day of kindergarten.

"Oh, boy! It's my premier day of kindergarten!" He exclaimed, a bounce to his step. He lived approximately 50 miles away and had to walk because his parents were dead. He did not have a home. His blue bucket hat was his only memory of a once joyful past...

"I hope I synthesize a multitude of unfamiliar associates!" He cried out. No one heard him because he walked through miles of woods to get to school.

When he arrived at school at 7:00 am, having left three days earlier, he was ready to learn. "I'm so qualified to lucubrate." He tipped his bucket hat to the side sexily, and walked in. He was nervous!

He was instantly greeted with the sight of a tall man with a fucked up, smiling face. One of his eyes was missing. Inari was scared. He wetted himself.

"Uhh... " was all he could say.

The scary man bent over and picked up Inari. "Oh, little boy!" he said. "Oh, little boy…"

He looked carefully over Inari's small body with his one eye. He then looked back up to meet the kindergartener in a soulful stare. He smiled, showing all his teeth. Even the ones on the bottom.

"Don't be scared! I'm your new teacher. I've heard all about you, Inari…" He licked his chapped lips hungrily. "I'm Mr. Uchiha, but my first name is Obito. I want _you_ to call me Obito, Inari."

"O-Okay, mister…" Inari was trembling in the older man's experienced hands and shitted himself.

"Mister? Inari, I thought we agreed. Call me Obito." He gently caressed the young boy's armpits.

"Okay, m- I mean Obito!"

"That's better." He gave another big toothy grin! He reluctantly set Inari down. Inari was just under 2 feet tall and didn't even go up to Obito's knees.

"E-Excuse me, Obito! I'm going to apply the services of the lavatory now!" Inari ran as fast as he could to the little boys room, which was very fast, considering he had ridiculously muscular legs. When he reached the door, he could not push it open, for his arms were no wider around than 4 centimeters.

"Oh, doggone!" He swore. He decided he would just sit in his own shit and piss during class. Luckily, when he walked to the classroom door two feet away, it was being held open by Obito.

"Please… come…." Obito begged. "Please, Inari…. Please come….. In….."

"Acknowledgments, Obito." Inari tipped his bucket hat to his teacher as he walked inside. Obito followed the young boy's movements all the way to his desk. When Inari was seated, Obito stared at him for three minutes more before walking to the front of the room.

Inari looked around a little. Every kid was looking at him because he smelled like shit. A kid with a bold widow's peak in particular was gazing at him… almost predatorily. This made Inari feel strange.

A peppy young blonde kid shouted "All right! Let's get started already!"

Obito cleared his throat and adjusted himself. He had worked up quite a sweat from staring at Inari. "Hello, class. Welcome to your first day of kindergarten! I'm your teacher, Mr. Uchiha." He smiled with his lips closed.

Inari raised his hand. Obito called on him right away.

"Um, apology for my intrusion, however I recall you instructed I address you as O-"

"That's just between us, Inari." He showed his upper teeth to signify trust between the two. It did not instill a feeling of trust in Inari. "Anyway, welcome. Today we'll start out with…"

Inari zoned out. School was so fucking boring. This was bullshit. Why did he even need to be here? How was he going to use this in everyday life? He looked to the window… when he noticed two adjacent cages on a counter below. _What are those for?_ He thought to himself. He took a deep breath and thought he could smell something… Good. Past the overwhelming smell of shit coming from him. He wanted to know more.

He hopped up from out his chair, leaving a giant shit stain where he'd been sitting. He almost waltzed over to the cages, in such a trance by the wonder and excitement. When he reached them, he noted they were connected.

 _Whatever for?_ Inari thought.

And that was when he saw him.

And nothing was the same.

To his amazement, Inari spotted a small, but beautiful, scorpion in one of the cages. It had on a little black cloak with red clouds that complemented its thick red hair beautifully. When the creature turned to face Inari, its gorgeous brown eyes met his. Inari felt his breath hitch. He'd never seen something so beautiful and sexy in his entire life. He never would've looked away, if it weren't for the menacing creature coming in from the second cage. Inari gasped when he saw it. It was hideous. It was a fat, naked mole rat with a human face and black cornrows that stuck up. It wore a cloak similar to the scorpion, but looked like a hunchback in it. Its most defining feature was its gigantic balls popping out of the end of the cloak. Inari felt as though he may throw up.

Just as he was turning to run back to his seat, Inari noticed the ugly thing move toward the scorpion.

"No…" He whispered, hands against the glass. The fat mole rat snuck up on the scorpion from behind and began thrusting violently into its rear.

"NO!" Inari screamed. He wanted to save the poor creature. He started messing with the cage lid to pry it open… until he saw its face.

It was the face… of pure enjoyment. The face of submission, love, lust, ecstasy, and seduction. The scorpion needed no help. It was evident from its face. The scorpion was having the time of its life, making love with its lover.

Inari looked away. He couldn't bear it. He walked woefully back to his seat. He was so depressed he hadn't even noticed the class going silent and staring at him. Obito broke the silence.

"Inari, is everything alright?" He asked gently, like a lover.

Inari was too lost in a hopeless state of pure depression to hear him. His life, and everything he knew, was crumbling before his eyes. Because what could he do? He fell in love with the class pet… and it doesn't love him back.

 _ **To be continued...**_


End file.
